How to Deal with Greening Out: When Your Salad Starts Talking Back
Greening out, a term often associated with the overconsumption of cannabis, can also metaphorically describe moments when life feels overwhelmingly “green”—whether it’s too much nature, too many eco-friendly choices, or even an unexpected encounter with a sentient houseplant. While the concept might seem absurd, the strategies to handle such situations can be surprisingly practical and, at times, hilariously philosophical.
1. Acknowledge the Green Overload
The first step in dealing with greening out is recognizing that it’s happening. Are you surrounded by too many plants? Is your kale smoothie giving you existential dread? Acknowledge the situation. Sometimes, the sheer volume of green—whether literal or metaphorical—can be overwhelming. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way. Even the most seasoned environmentalists have moments when they wonder if their compost bin is judging them.
2. Create a Safe Space
If you’re greening out, it’s essential to find a space where you can recalibrate. This might mean stepping away from your indoor jungle or taking a break from your zero-waste lifestyle. If your houseplants are starting to feel like roommates who never pay rent, consider relocating a few to a friend’s house. Remember, it’s not abandonment; it’s delegation.
3. Hydrate and Nourish
Greening out can leave you feeling drained, both physically and mentally. Replenish your energy with water and nutrient-rich foods. But beware—this is not the time for another green smoothie. Opt for something comforting and grounding, like a bowl of pasta or a slice of chocolate cake. Sometimes, the best way to deal with too much green is to embrace a little indulgence.
4. Engage in Non-Green Activities
To counteract the green overload, immerse yourself in activities that are decidedly not green. Watch a movie set in a concrete jungle, paint your nails a bold red, or bake cookies shaped like plastic straws. The goal is to remind yourself that life is about balance. You can’t save the planet if you’re too busy having a meltdown over your herb garden.
5. Reflect on Your Relationship with Green
Greening out can be a sign that your relationship with green—whether it’s environmentalism, nature, or even your favorite color—needs reevaluation. Are you taking on too much? Are you trying to be the perfect eco-warrior? Remember, it’s okay to take small steps. You don’t have to save the world in a day. And if your fern starts giving you side-eye, it’s probably time to reassess your priorities.
6. Seek Support
If greening out becomes a recurring issue, don’t hesitate to seek support. Talk to friends who understand your struggles, join a support group for people who’ve had traumatic experiences with avocados, or consult a therapist who specializes in eco-anxiety. You’re not alone in this. Even Greta Thunberg probably has days when she just wants to curl up with a non-recyclable blanket and binge-watch reality TV.
7. Embrace the Absurdity
Sometimes, the best way to deal with greening out is to lean into the absurdity of it all. Laugh at the fact that your succulents seem to be conspiring against you or that your reusable shopping bags have taken over your closet. Life is weird, and greening out is just one of its many quirks. By embracing the humor in the situation, you can transform a moment of overwhelm into a story worth sharing.
8. Reconnect with Nature (on Your Terms)
Once you’ve recovered from your greening out episode, consider reconnecting with nature in a way that feels manageable. Take a walk in the park, but don’t feel pressured to identify every tree species. Plant a few flowers, but don’t turn your backyard into a botanical garden. The key is to find a balance that works for you. Nature is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.
9. Set Boundaries with Green
Finally, set boundaries with green. Decide how much green you can handle in your life and stick to it. If your eco-friendly habits are causing you stress, it’s okay to scale back. Remember, sustainability is a journey, not a destination. And if your houseplants start staging an intervention, it might be time to reconsider your life choices.
FAQs
Q: What if my greening out is caused by actual cannabis overconsumption?
A: If you’ve consumed too much cannabis, the best course of action is to stay calm, hydrate, and rest. Eating something sweet can help balance your blood sugar levels. Remember, the effects are temporary, and you’ll feel better soon.
Q: Can greening out happen with other colors?
A: Absolutely! While greening out is the most common, you can experience similar overwhelm with any color. Too much red might leave you feeling agitated, while an excess of blue could make you feel melancholic. The key is to find balance in all aspects of life.
Q: How do I know if my houseplants are plotting against me?
A: If your plants seem to be growing at an unnatural rate, or if they always seem to be staring at you, it might be time to reassess your living situation. Consider talking to a plant therapist or, at the very least, rotating their pots to keep them on their toes.
Q: Is it possible to be too eco-friendly?
A: While striving to live sustainably is admirable, it’s important to avoid burnout. If your eco-friendly habits are causing you stress or negatively impacting your mental health, it’s okay to take a step back. Remember, small, consistent actions are more impactful than perfection.